One of the joys of childhood is summer camp. Rare is the child who doesn’t appreciate being able to spend hours on end under the sun with new and old friends. For a long time, parents of children with physical disabilities or illnesses had few options for day camp, and overnight camp was impossible. Happily, the Jewish community has realized the importance of overnight camping for children with health issues, and several are available today.

The presence of medically and socially appropriate camps presents a conundrum for parents. “We know that our child would benefit from the chance to make friends with other children like him, but I don’t know if we could send him to camp. No one can care for him like his parents,” is a common refrain. For physically and developmentally fragile children, for whom devoted parents provide round-the-clock care, sleep-away camp represents a large milestone and potential challenge.

Letting go is hard to do

There’s no question that there’s nothing like a mother and father’s love. But as hundreds of parents have discovered, children receive wonderful care at camp.

Shlomit Schwartz hesitated when her case manager suggested sending her daughter to Camp Simcha Special -- Chai Lifeline’s overnight camp for children and teens with lifelong illnesses.

“Leah doesn’t go to sleep unless I’m next to her. There are so many medicines to administer, and Leah has so many special needs. How can a counselor do what I do? She’s in a wheelchair, and because of that, she’s very shy and doesn’t make friends easily. Will she feel left out at camp?”

“All of these concerns are understandable,” explained Rivky Schwartz, Girls’ Head Counselor of Camp Simcha and Camp Simcha Special. “It’s hard for parents to send healthy children to camp for the first time. When a child is ill, it’s that much harder. It’s a big step for parents to allow someone else to care for their medically fragile child.

“Allowing children to take that leap at a camp geared towards their needs, however, comes with limitless rewards.”

Why take the plunge?

Sleep-away camp provides all types of children with weeks of fun and memories that will last forever. It offers special advantages for seriously ill and disabled children, who are faced with more demanding challenges and stresses than their healthy peers.

Dr. Leonard Wexler, an associate attending physician at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center, and a veteran Camp Simcha physician, listens carefully when parents voice concerns about their children attending Camp Simcha, the renowned Chai Lifeline camp for children with cancer. Dr. Wexler explains that the camp’s medical team is top-notch, and that campers can receive virtually any treatment in the infirmary that they would receive in the hospital.

“Most critically, I tell them that there is a very rare and very powerful medicine available only at camp - and that is the love and happiness that envelopes Camp Simcha and allows even children who are very sick when they arrive in camp to return home feeling just a little bit (and sometimes more than just a little bit) better,” he explained.

“I wish I would have known then what I know now.”

Tali and Joseph Greenbaum were reluctant to send their son, Max, to Camp Simcha three years ago. “He was so young, and still very sick,” remembered Tali, “and the thought of him spending two weeks away from us just seemed impossible.”

Their concern is echoed by many parents. Faced with the prospect of summer camp for their sick child, they feel that they are walking into the unknown.

“Kosher camps for children with disabilities have been around for more than a generation,” said Rabbi Simcha Scholar, Chai Lifeline’s executive vice president and a founder of Camp Simcha. “The camps have wonderful programs, caring staff, and extraordinary medical care. But I understand how parents feel. It’s difficult, but it’s so important for the child.”

Tali and Joseph felt unnerved. In addition to his medical issues, Max had stopped talking when he got sick. They wondered how he would function in a bunk system, and whether he would become attached to his counselor. They discussed it amongst themselves ad infinitum, and spoke frequently with Dr. Wexler, who was Max’s physician, and Ari Dembitzer, Camp Simcha Boys’ Head Counselor.

“We worried for nothing. At camp, he was a rock star. When we called to hear about his day, he would say, ‘Can’t talk, mom. Too much to do.’ It was wonderful!”

Today, Tali and Joseph are Camp Simcha cheerleaders, like many parents who were initially hesitant to send their children to camp for the first summer. “Max was a quiet, subdued boy when he left for camp, and an exuberant, happy, and social child when he returned,” Joseph said. “Camp Simcha gave Max what Tali and I couldn’t: an environment where he and his illness were normal, where he left behind his identity as a sick child, made friends, and had loads of fun. Seeing this transformation was priceless for us.”

“I wish I would have known before I sent Max to camp how I would feel now, after he returned. After that first summer, I told camp, ‘I want to help parents consider the possibilities – please have them call me!’”

An unexpected benefit for parents

While their children are having the vacation of their dreams, parents are often surprised that their anxieties melt away.

“The daily conversations did it for me,” said Nechama Rothbein. “When we spoke to Surit, we heard the happiness in her voice. Her counselor described everything from the activities to the time Surit went to sleep and how she took her medicine without complaining. At first we felt like we were right there. Then we realized that her care at camp was as great as if she were home. You can’t imagine how happy we were.”

Happy, well-adjusted campers enable parents to have a vacation from illness, too. The respite gives them a chance to recharge their batteries, and prepare to greet their child with renewed energy and vigor at the summer’s end.

Chaim Frankel explained, “While Shoshana is at Camp Simcha, I’m able to lavish attention upon my other children in a way that I just can’t during the rest of the year, while finding some extra time for myself during those two weeks, too. Camp Simcha gives me two guilt-free weeks ‘off,’ because I know that Shoshana would rather be at Camp Simcha than anywhere else in the world.”

“I finally belong”

Overnight camps geared towards ill children offer campers a priceless gift: an environment where they feel like ordinary kids. Campers feel like they are with the only people who can truly understand them: others who are battling illness. They find their social bearings and develop critical social skills that will serve them their entire lives.

For parents, seeing their children in social relationships can seem miraculous.

“After Yaakov’s illness moved from crisis mode to stabilization, one of the hardest things was watching his elementary school friends move ahead without him. They did their best to include him, but kids are kids, and their lives continued. When he went to Camp Simcha Special, he found a whole group of friends who understood him and who were up to the same place in life. It gave him the chance to be just a kid, instead of a kid with a serious illness,” Menachem Brach explained.

The campers themselves feel they’ve finally found a place where they belong.

“Everything about camp is awesome,” explained Elie, a first-time Camp Simcha Special camper, last summer. “But the best part of it all is that for the first time in my life, I’m in camp with other kids my age who understand me and what I’m going through.”

“At school, I’m the only kid with cancer. Here, everyone gets it. You don’t have to talk about it, because everyone understands what it’s like to be sick. It’s like having your own language,” Avi said.

The common language of shared experience brings together seriously ill children from across the world at Camp Simcha and Camp Simcha Special, where campers hail from Israel, Europe, Canada, and across the U.S.

“My son, Shlomo, and his best friend from camp, Avi, who is Israeli, literally speak two different languages and live across the world from one another,” explained one mom. “They became inseparable at camp despite their language barrier because they related so strongly to one another’s lives; they were both diagnosed with the same rare cancer at a young age. Shlomo and Avi keep in touch during the year, with Shlomo’s Hebrew getting better and Avi working on his English. Their friendship speaks to the priceless support our children can only find at camp: love and understanding from children in their situation.”

The “language” shared at camp allows campers to see one another for who they are, not for what they look like. Menachem continued, “It’s priceless to see your child accepted for who he or she is, after however many months or years of the child feeling different or, unfortunately, judged.”

“These deep, accepting friendships continue year-round,” he explained. “Yaakov looks forward to seeing his camp friends at Chai Lifeline’s holiday parties, chol hamoed trips, family days at amusement parks, and other year-round events. The continuity of his friendships makes his time at camp that much more meaningful.”

For Esti Benshaul, the essence of camp was illustrated when her son Aaron begged for a weekend play date with his friend from Camp Simcha Special. She and the boy’s mother spoke several times to make arrangements. When the date was set, Aaron casually said, “By the way, Mom, Shmuel is in a wheelchair.” This detail was tangential to Aaron, who had seen past the disabilities to befriend the child inside.

“There will be tears, but they will be yours.”

“Camp is wonderful for the kids,” said Shlomo Stock, who has been a counselor at Camp Simcha and Camp Simcha Special for the past two years. “We do everything for the campers. Whatever they want and need, we make sure they’ve got it.”

Shlomo, along with about 200 other counselors, lifeguards, waiters and other staff, became a counselor because he loves being with the children. “Their lives are changed at camp, but so are ours,” he maintained. “These kids go through so much, and when they get to camp, all they do is smile and laugh. They are so happy here. They forget they are sick. They forget that they may have shortened lives. They forget all that is bad and just think about the fun they are having right now. How can we not be inspired by that?”

Knowing how happy their children are at camp, and how their summer experiences can change their lives forever, are perhaps, the strongest motivations parents can have for sending children, healthy, ill, or disabled, to camp. That doesn’t always make the initial send-off easy for Mom and Dad.

“Yes, there were tears at the bus stop,” said a mother to her friend after her daughter left for Camp Simcha. “But they were mine, not hers.”


Names of our campers and their parents have been changed to protect their privacy. Share your camp experience with our readers. Send your submission to editor@spiritmag.org or fax to 845-425-7853

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