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Dear Spirit! Magazine, and the author of Dear Totty & Mommy,

I’ve been reading Spirit! for four years now, ever since my daughter was diagnosed with autism. I’ve gained lots of chizuk and inspiration from many articles, but none have made such a positive impact as the aforementioned article in the Spring 2008 issue.

We received the magazine right before Pesach, while packing to go to our parents for the chag. We had many sleepless nights prior to this day, as my wonderful parents have never truly accepted my daughter. We had difficulty thinking we would have to move in for eight full days and deal with their negativity at our choosing to raise our special needs child at home versus their opinion of placing her in a group home.

I took the magazine to my parents and immediately asked both my parents and married siblings to take a short break from the last minute preparations to read this article.

My mother burst out crying, hugged me tight and said, “Shefelah, I’m sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable, I love Gittel with all my heart and will do everything to ease your pain.” This opened up a line of communication which over Yom Tov, we resolved many unspoken painful encounters regarding my daughter.

My father walked out of the room and didn’t say a word. The silent understanding, love and care which came through over this Yom Tov is unbelievable! It’s truly thanks to such a poignant letter which brought such an unbelievable change in my family.

Thanks for sharing, keep up your great work.

Anonymous (as respect to my parents)

Dear Michelle and Yaakov Steinhart,

I read and reread your article many times. This could have been written by my husband and me two years ago. We too, were told to keep our child’s disability a secret. My child also has a “non-obvious” disorder, which until he opens his mouth, appears perfectly beautiful and ‘normal’.

We, however, were silenced by our parents, who, for reasons of their own, didn’t want us to advertise that a grandchild of theirs had a disability.

My parents are well known members of their community, and come from a very chashuve family. To them, having a disabled family member was a blemish in the “perfect” family name. We lived with pain for years and years and suffered silently on our own. It went as far as not applying for a Medicaid waiver, as then we would be on a “list”.

We finally came out of our shell and took off our mask two years ago. We made a decision to send our child to Camp HASC. At a family simcha, we announced our decision.
My parents were horrified, but due to the number of people that heard the conversation, I couldn’t retract my words.

Since then, my life has been so much simpler. I no longer need to walk around the corner to wait for the bus. I no longer have the need to send my mail to a PO Box. I don’t get the stares from my neighbors on how my child-raising is lousy – they now realize his actions are not a reflection of my poor parenting skills. Thanks again for sharing your story, and may Hashem grant you continued strength in raising your beautiful son, Avi.

Ch. R.
Brooklyn, NY

Dear Editors

Thanks for including the article “D” is for Dyslexia, by Rochel Stern.

There are very few articles and literature around addressing learning disabilities in a positive light. What a great article!

E.G.

Dear Devorah Leah Meshulovin,

Your article, “Sheina’s Birthday” in the Spring 2008 issue of Spirit! was a G-d sent. Erev Pesach was my son Shimmy’s birthday. Shimmy is a quadriplegic with many challenges and medical issues. Every birthday is heartbreaking for me, as his delays become more and more apparent with each passing year. This year was especially difficult for me, as he’s had additional medical challenges over the past several months.

The emotional turmoil was indescribable. I had difficultly talking to anyone who had a child that age for the entire week of his birthday. When I was feeling really low, my husband walked in with Spirit! Magazine thinking, I’ll bury it under the pile of mail until after Pesach. That’s not what I did. I took several moments to sit down with a cup of coffee and the magazine. First thing that caught my eye was a birthday article. I cried reading the article (and the rest of the magazine) but got such strength from reading your amazing perspective and attitude.

Thanks again for a great magazine.

L.P.
Chicago, IL

Spirit! thanks all of our readers for their letters and comments. The editor reserves the right to edit letters for content and/or space, and will withhold your name upon request. Due to the large number of mail, we cannot print all letters received, but appreciate your feedback nonetheless.

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